


White Flowers

by pbjamas



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, it's sad, kakagai i guess but subtle, write the fic you want to read i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbjamas/pseuds/pbjamas
Summary: “I am not one for visiting graves. I remember my precious people by carrying them with me always, but your sensei honored his precious people by visiting their memorials. Because it is so important to him, I am going to visit them! Would you like to accompany me, Sakura-chan?”
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	White Flowers

Sakura hesitantly stepped through the cemetery gates. She felt like an intruder, the white flowers she clutched some sort of token of entry. They marked her as someone meant to be there. She strode purposefully by the headstones until she arrived at the very back, to the new plots where the freshly-planted grass was still thin and soft. Not wanting to crush the new grass, she positioned herself cross-legged on the patch of thick grass right in front of it. This grass was dark green and prickly and methodically kept and trimmed. There was a line where the new grass had been added, the soft dirt and sprouting grass contrasting the old.

Here, Sakura sat and faced the facts head-on. For the past week, she’d been sidestepping in her thoughts and pushing past any serious contemplation. _I wonder if I’ll train with a new team_ , she’d thought, skimming over any acknowledgment of _I will never train with Kakashi-sensei again._ She’d lost herself in memories of the attempted chuunin exams, but floated and stuttered past Kakashi-sensei saving her while everyone else was stuck in a genjutsu. Today, she’d been unable to drag herself from bed in time for the C-rank she’d signed up for with Hinata and Kiba, and instead had jumped out of bed five minutes before and shown up late. She’d grappled for an excuse, skittering past Kakashi-sensei’s daily explanations, and settled for a “sorry, overslept.”

Now, though, she dug out reality and met it directly.

Kakashi-sensei was _dead_. Sasuke abandoned her and Naruto went off on his own and Kakashi-sensei was dead.

Sakura gulped down her sobs and hunched her shaking shoulders. She rubbed at the tears before they could fall, smearing them and making her eyes and face sticky and puffy. It wasn’t _fair_. Kakashi-sensei had been a good ninja, and he was brave, and he cared for them. He’d always showed up late and been annoyingly nonchalant, but he’d made up for it when he patted her on the head and taught her chakra-walking and showed up at her window with arm guards when she’d complained about scratches from blocking kunai. 

She’d been surprised by the big turnout at his funeral, but she was still seething at how unaffected everyone was. Apparently, he was semi-famous and one of Konoha’s most valued jounin, but still, no one was as sad as she was. Kurenai-sensei was somber at the funeral. Ino and Tenten and Shikamaru just looked awkward and uncomfortable. Gai-sensei and Lee stood stoically but with tears streaming down their faces, and she hated them just a little for bringing their dramatics into Kakashi-sensei’s death. He was really gone forever and the jumpsuit duo were cheapening his memorial with their Stoic Tears or whatever they called them. Naruto didn’t even know, off on his little trip with the oh-so-great pervert Jiraiya. Lady Tsunade was the only one with an appropriate reaction; she was angry, punching and drinking and occasionally crying. Sakura was angry for him; was this all that people thought he deserved?

Sakura heard footsteps and her mind returned to where she was. The grass was now pressed and clinging to her legs, her cheeks sticky and damp, and the flower stems clutched in her hand were less stiff and more drooping. She hastily wiped at her eyes and set the flowers on Kakashi-sensei’s grave then started to peel herself off the ground to leave. She didn’t want to get caught and she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do in a cemetery. As she made it to her feet, ready to scramble to the exit, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around.

It was Gai-sensei of the Dramatic Manly Tears.

“Gai-sensei,” Sakura greeted with a small bow. His disrespect at the funeral was not forgotten.

“Sakura-chan,” he replied, and before she could leave, he continued, “Memorials and visiting the dead were very important to Kakashi. I am very glad that one of his students is here to honor and remember him. Thank you,” he said with a gleaming smile.

Guilt hit Sakura and she felt new tears in her eyes. Gai-sensei was grieving, same as she was, and she had been angry at him. 

“Thank you for doing the same, Gai-sensei,” she said, turning back to the grave.

“You know, Kakashi always acted very cool and aloof, but he was very proud of you, Sakura-chan. You and Naruto, and even Sasuke, were like family to him.”

She started to cry again, but this time, when the tears filled her eyes and fell when she blinked, she didn’t rush to wipe them away. She watched as Gai-sensei crouched to add his white flowers next to hers. “Eternal Rival, I will continue your vigil here. I will remember you always. You continue to be a worthy rival and a worthier friend.” Here, he started to cry, but he didn’t seem to care; the tears streamed down his face even as he smiled and continued to speak. “Your youthful student Sakura is here with me. She continues to be very intelligent and energetic. You would be so proud of her.” Sakura choked on a sob as Gai-sensei continued. “I am on my way to visit Rin and Obito for you, so you do not need to worry! As well as your father and the Yondaime. I will not let you down! Until we meet again, Kakashi.”

He stood, and Sakura saw that he still held several bunches of flowers in his hand. He turned again to her. “I am not one for visiting graves. I remember my precious people by carrying them with me always, but your sensei honored his precious people by visiting their memorials. Because it is so important to him, I am going to visit them! Would you like to accompany me, Sakura-chan?”

“I-” Would she? 

“Yes.” For Kakashi-sensei.

\--------  
The first place Gai-sensei took her was a grave four rows back from Kakashi-sensei’s that read _Nohara Rin_. The grass here was well-maintained and stiff. From the years on the headstone, she died when she was fifteen. Sakura had turned fifteen just two months ago.

“Rin,” Gai-sensei said, laying down flowers. “I hope Kakashi’s with you now. This is Sakura-chan, Kakashi’s student. She’s learning medical ninjutsu. Thank you for looking after Kakashi; you were an excellent shinobi.”

As they walked to the next grave, Gai-sensei explained that Rin was a medic and one of Kakashi-sensei’s closest friends. He didn’t say how she’d died when she was fifteen.

“Sakumo-san,” he said to the next grave, a tilting rock outside the cemetery wall. The grass here was overgrown and peppered with weeds and wildflowers. No one tended graves outside the cemetery, so the flowers someone had left a while ago had stayed there and wilted. Sakura picked them up and held them while Gai-sensei set down new flowers. Once again, he introduced her as Kakashi-sensei’s student. “She is a devoted shinobi who protects her teammates,” he said. “Kakashi…lived a good life, despite everything. It was hard for him to overcome his early experiences, so I expect you to love him and be proud of him.”

Gai-sensei wore a hard expression instead of the smile he’d given Rin. “The village hated Kakashi’s father,” he explained as they walked away. “Many refused to give him a proper burial. I helped Kakashi make that grave when I was ten and he was seven.” They had been friends for a long time, then. As Sakura pondered how cruel a person would have to be to make a seven-year-old dig his own father’s grave, she realized she was still holding the flowers she’d picked up. It was probably Kakashi-sensei that had left them. They’d wilted because he hadn’t come back to replace them with fresh flowers. She clutched the stems tighter and followed Gai-sensei to the memorial stone.

Sakura had never been to the memorial stone outside of team training. With Kakashi-sensei. Her thoughts tried to skitter around her first day as a genin and how Kakashi-sensei had messed with them, but she forced herself to confront it. She’d been terrified of Kakashi-sensei, that he’d fail them, that she would never be ninja, and that Sasuke would think she was an idiot. She’d been so immature it made her squirm just thinking about it. And Kakashi-sensei…he really was just a big softy under all those threats.

As she faced the memorial stone with Gai-sensei, he introduced her again. “This is Sakura. She is one of Kakashi’s brilliant young students. Her team was the only one to pass his teamwork test. Kakashi passed on everything he learned from you to his students. Thank you for being a good friend, Obito.” He bowed and left the flowers.

“Obito was the one who gave Kakashi the Sharingan,” he said as he led Sakura on a run to the Hokage Monument. Sakura tried to stop and catch her breath, but he insisted that she was too youthful to pass up the opportunity to spring up the mountain. She ended up gasping for breath on top of the Fourth Hokage’s spiky hair while Gai-sensei shot her an enthusiastic grin and thumbs-up.

“Minato-sama was Kakashi’s jounin sensei. Kakashi took some of his teaching techniques from him. I believe the bell test was Minato-sama’s exercise. Of course, my rival was so hip and cool, and altered them to suit that.”

Sakura took a deep breath, then bowed and blurted, “Yondaime-sama! I was Kakashi-sensei’s student, and this is Gai-sensei, his eternal rival and dear friend. I thought your bell test was horrible, but Kakashi-sensei was a good teacher and—I miss him. You are lucky to have him with you, and take good care of him for us! Thank you!”

She came out of her bow to see Gai-sensei releasing the last of his flowers into the wind with teary eyes and a smile. “Thank you, Sakura-chan.” He grabbed her hand in his and looked into her eyes. “You have helped a comrade in need, so I can see that you carry on his will of fire. If you ever need a challenge, Team Ten and I would be honored.” Sakura was puzzled, but touched. “I’m going to remain here, Sakura. You go ahead,” he told her, turning to face the village.

She stepped off the monument, enjoying the rush of air until she landed. She turned to glance up at Gai-sensei, who stood where she had left him. The sun gleamed off the hitae-ate he wore around his waist, and his lone figure made a dramatic image against the sky. Was Gai-sensei himself the “comrade in need” he’d mentioned? 

Sakura was lost in thought as the breeze accompanied her on the path home. Her cheeks were now dry of tears, but now felt dry and stretched thin. She ran her fingers across the wall as she walked until a bush caught her eye—the wind had carried one of the white flowers all the way from the Hokage Monument and tangled it in the bush’s leaves. With a delicate smile, she freed it and held it up to the wind where she let it guide the flower up and away.

**Author's Note:**

> this came from a thought i had, it's so important to kakashi to visit the dead, wouldn't it be tragic if no one did it for him? jk gai would NEVER let that happen!!
> 
> i'm also dying to hear thoughts on how i can improve my writing so let me know


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